Campfire

As we are preparing for our first of three camping trips next week, I thought the title of this shot would be appropriate. This first trip is fairly close to home in that it is only an hour away in the Eastern Townships. Our second trip later in July will be up to Tadousac while the third trip will be south near New York City.

This is a shot of the Pritzker Pavilion in Chicago by Frank O. Gehry.

Why Did I Become a Parent?

In this day and age where people are more often considering the idea of having children a choice, I thought it may be of interest as to why I (we) chose to have kids.

Now, I’d say we all grew up in a society where having kids is considered or at least expected to be part of the natural progression of life. And I can’t say that my experience was any different. Though I can say that I never felt any pressure from my parents toward having kids. I don’t think they even mentioned anything about us being engaged for over five years. But they’re cool like that. That said I could still say that it still felt like some unwritten code that people get married, have kids, retire, wear Depends, and die. So in that sense it felt like an opt-out clause to not have kids as opposed to being an opt-in clause to have them.

Although I don’t try to psycho-analyze myself too much, I think September 11th had something to do with my openness to finally having kids. Regardless, there were other reasons. Mainly, I felt it was my duty to pass along my knowledge to another generation. I was very fortunate to have very good parents who I feel have a huge part in the person I have become. Even as a kid I thought about that I would pass along what I have learned from them to my kids. Our parents (my sister and I) did many things to expand our minds like frequent trips to museums, regular viewing of PBS programs, and road trips to the Rocky Mountains, the Audubon Convention, the Knoxville Worlds Fair, Washington & Boston for US History, or other locations around the Midwest. I had a fortunate childhood and it would seem a shame not to pass it on.

The irony of the idea of me having kids is that I was not good with kids. When I was a kid, I usually felt more comfortable with grown-ups. And I was not someone who would go ogle at someone’s baby when they came around. Plus other than a few times babysitting relative, I had no experience watching kids.

So like many people I had on the job training. And really to this day that continues. Because really I don’t have training in child care or discipline. But I do what I can with what I know and what feels right.

The thing that I enjoy the most is what was my intention from the start. To see them absorb the knowledge and understanding of the world around us quite like I did at that age.

Crossroads

The often photographed Turcot Interchange in Montreal. I snuck over there during a lunch hour one day.

Abroad

Yesterday an internal job posting was sent to everyone at the office. In a nutshell they are looking for someone to move to Trinidad for a year in order to head up a department there. After receiving three reply emails from my wife with an emphatic “Yes”, I threw my hat into the ring. I almost haven’t stopped thinking about it ever since.

Of course there is the glamorous idea of living on a tropical island, but of course there are the logistics. Especially since with are currently a firmly planted young suburban family. Back when we were stateside it happened on a few occasions that the office I had worked at circulated similar offers. At one point I was chosen by a principal to move to China in order to work on skyscrapers our office over there was working on. At another point an offer was circulated asking if anyone wanted to go work in Hawaii for a couple weeks. And lastly after September 11th, our New York office was heading the effort for damage assessment. So a handful from our office traveled there in order to help. In the first two cases I became quite excited about the prospect of each opportunity. I got caught up in the glamour of exotic travel and really didn’t get too far into the logistics and reality of what it might entail. In the third case, I really didn’t have the chance to think about joining the effort since I was already on a big project and my boss immediately took my name off the list. In all of these cases, it was just my wife and I. So going away and having her come to visit seemed less of an issue at the time.

This time around it’s a bit different. Yes, over the first 24 hours I’ve been caught up in the glamour of living on a tropical island despite my efforts to educate myself of what life could really be like there. Though it has slowly started to sink in. I’m remembering those other times I was passed over. Another thought came to mind this evening as we were doing some of the rather mundane things we do day to day. As when we first moved to Montreal from Chicago, I missed those little things we were so used to. Now after six years it is Montreal that is the place of familiarity. A new place is exciting and different. And it is supposed to only be for a year, but a year is more than enough time to yearn for the little things you miss. It’s a minor thing that can seem major when you are living through it, but it is interesting that I’ve even started thinking about it before the selection process has even begun. I’m judging my changes of getting it are about 1 in 4.

I am also remembering the other times I went far away from home. A bit more so the time moving to France than the time moving to Montreal. And one thing that came across my mind this evening is what it was really like living in a foreign place. Looking back, it was such an interesting time full of new places. But over the past few years of really looking more closely at that time, I’ve been trying to think of how it was day to day. And in truth it really wasn’t that amazing. It was like how you normally live your life. You get by doing what you need to do and some days are not so fun while others can really be like a vacation. I remember that often when I was traveling I would save money by sleeping sitting up in a train compartment. My diet consisted heavily of candy bars and Coke (I blame my youth). Cheap energy, but not a great combo for feeling your best. Yet I think back fondly about European train travel. I also remember that during my stay over there that there were at least a couple times that I got totally fed up with the difficulties of living in a foreign land. Times were often not easy.

Although what I have written above casts a sobering picture of what a possible temporary relocation may be like, I’ve always been one to keep my expectations low in order to be pleasantly surprise. I still feel that this could be quite an amazing experience for myself and my family if it happens. But it is best to be mindful that it’s quite likely it will not be easy day to day. Now we will just wait to see what happens in the next step of the selection process.

Angels & Demons – The Book

I finished reading Angels & Demons yesterday. I had been interested in reading it since I read the Da Vinci Code three years ago. But I don’t read much fiction so I didn’t really have a reason or the time to get to it. So with the movie coming out, I figured it would be best to read it before seeing it.

Now I was a big fan of the Da Vinci Code. I found the subject matter and claims that they made very interesting. I also found it to be a very interesting thriller traipsing across Europe. A real page-turner. I liked it so much that I read it a second time in part to better understand the claims that were made about history. So I had quite big expectations for the prequel.

While I again enjoyed some of the topics that were talked about, they weren’t quite as interesting as those in the first one. In fact I would say that it even made me think less about the Da Vinci Code. Why? Well it started about a third of the way into the book. I started noticing strong similarities between the plots of the two stories. First, Langdon makes this journey with a brilliant woman who’s father figure (not actually her father) is mysteriously murdered. Someone who brought her up when she was an orphan or was orphaned. He was killed for something he knew or had. The story revolves around something damaging to the image of the Catholic church of someone actually trying to damage the Catholic church. There is some mysterious murderer lurking around who is doing this for religious reasons. They come into contact with a police figure who at least initially gives them a hard time. Then there is some enlightened soul who helps them along the way, but in the end turns out to be the real villian. And we might as well throw in a main character who is a cripple and wake up Langdon to begin the story.

The parallels would probably not have bothered me in and of themselves, but I suppose after reading the Da Vinci Code twice, I was very very familiar with Brown’s tricks for setting up the suspense and the plot. Very often it seem like the story was telegraphed. The suspense seemed to be lacking because I felt I had a good idea of where the story was going. Or maybe I just wasn’t loosing myself in the story because of it. Very often I felt like I could see that the story was made up. Yes, of course every story is made up, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you find yourself thinking that while you’re reading it. Thinking back now I would have to say that one reason I enjoyed the Da Vinci Code was because I really did believe the story. At least until the cheesy ending.

That said, I will likely go to see the movie or at least rent it if we run out of big screen summer blockbuster to see. It’s always interesting to compare how you see the story with how someone else actually creates them. Plus it’s interesting to see how they modify the story to fit a different format.

Next up on my fiction list is Devil in the White City as soon as I finish reading up for my LEED certification.

Circle Meets the Square

The Montreal Chateau Champlain and Place du Canada

Nostalgic Perspective

As with many people lately, Facebook has reconnected me with people from my past. As I mentioned in one of my recent posts, these reconnections break down into groups of different periods: adulthood, college, high school, and grade school. Whereas I have kept in contact with at least a few people from each of the first three, I had largely lost contact with everyone from grade school.

Over the past few months of reconnecting with this group I’ve become reacquainted with my childhood. After graduating from our class of about 75 we split up into the handful of high schools in our neighborhood. About a dozen of us went to the Catholic all-boys high school of about 400 per class. So in addition to pretty much losing contact with the girls in the class, the size of the school meant that I lost contact with all but a handful. Then later heading off to college dwindled that down to pretty much the guy I decided to room with. So many of these people I haven’t seen in 24 years. It has brought back many memories.

But there are a few realizations that I’ve had in the past couple weeks. First, I have always had immense pride with being from Chicago and more specifically from the neighborhood where I grew up. In my mind the people I knew in high school and more importantly grade school represented ground zero for that pride. But looking back, I see how life and my own doing have resulted in having no contact with anyone from that time in grade school. For a time I still lived in the same neighborhood and saw all the changes it had undergone, but with the exception of my immediate neighbors, I lost contact with the people I knew from there. In retrospect it seems my mind has built up that time in grade school as the foundation of who I am and literally where I come from. Throughout life I have always placed much importance in where people come from. For some reason I felt it had a strong bearing on their values and character. But the truth is that as life has taken me different places and the connections via the internet have introduced me to people outside my usual means of association. Now that I stand back and look at the big picture I see that location has much much less bearing on who people become. It by no means is meant to discredit those people from my old neighborhood, but more to acknowledge the rest of the world.

The second realization is what the people from that time in grade school were really like back then. Again this is more just something that has evolved over all that time in my mind. Since the people from that time largely disappeared from my life within a couple years, there was always a bit of mystery about them for me wondering what happened to them. These were the people with whom I spent much of my formative years. So over the years I kinda built them up in my mind. The reintroduction to them via Facebook has reminded me who they really were. Just a bunch of kids like myself with differing interests and differing characters. It’s odd because the deglorification of that time has forced me to look at the other events in my life since that time. It’s like when the bright moon is missing from the night sky, you can appreciate all the other stars.

This look back has also given perspective on the path my life has taken. There have been so many events and forks in the road that have brought me to where I am today. There was a time that I said I would never leave Chicago and never live in the suburbs. My kids would grow up in the same neighborhood that I had because it made me who I am and I wanted the same for them. And I would have been happy to live that life. But life has taken me to other countries and I now live in the suburbs working in a different language, and I’m happy here too. It’s interesting to see my old classmates and see other paths my life could have taken.

Lastly, I kinda mentioned the realization that many of us from that time were different with different interests and quite possibly that is another reason why we have lost touch. Back then it was all about seeking out your identity and finding others who were similar. But it’s been over 20 years. We’ve all changed and matured to differing degrees. Priorities and interests have changed. When we get back together in person it will be about getting reacquainted and reminiscing. I’m looking forward to it.

Melt ‘em Down

A few years ago a friend of a friend asked us to start collecting bread bag clips for someone they know who needed to get a wheelchair. As the clips started adding up, I started to wonder exactly what is the connection between bread clips and getting a wheelchair. It’s not like a company requesting you to keep a part of their product as proof of purchase. The company gets business and in turn does a good deed for someone in need which further improves the image of the company. But with bread bag clips (and soda can pull tabs for that matter) there is no specific company which benefits. My mother suggested the request to gather these is an expression of support for the person which someone else will reward with the wheelchair.

So I asked my friend what was the connection. They suggested that they must melt them down to make parts for the wheelchair. After they saw the "You’ve got to be kidding!" look on my face, they said they’d ask their friend. The other friend came back with the same suggestion that they would be melted down for parts. Since I still did not believe this, I asked if someone could actually ask the wheelchair bound person for a direct answer. The response came back from that person that they intend to melt these guys down for parts of the wheelchair.

I still don’t believe it. I think I’ll ask to see how they do this.

Sweet Cheesus

via Fagstein (via Patrick Lagace)

To Be Cut Like One and Hung Like the Other

Grant Park, Chicago